Top 6 Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger Movies

after much getting fucked up this holiday I watched the age old arnold classic “Commando” which prompted to think about my favorite arnold movies. TOP 6 cause its 1 more than 5.

True Lies

ok, look theres motherfucking bill paxton “GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER”-Aliens , tia carrer(Relic Hunter) and a bunch of terrorist who get there shit pushed in by arnold. This movie is very simple Harry(arnold) is like a spy, and he stops the Crimson Jihad from nuking us, and during the whole time his wife jamie lee curtis gets no love from Harry, which leads up to a semi erotic scene with jamie lee curtis dancing but then you realize she use to have a weiner and thenthe scene turns sour, really sour. Too bad there wont be a second one cause james cameron says something along the lines “terrorism isnt funny anymore”  post 9/11

easily my favorite scene, my brothers favorite would be the Crimson Jihad death speech to all the nations, which is pretty good too.

Predator

“THE CIA GOT YOU PUSHING TO MANY PENCILS?” hunter alien wrecking shit in the jungle, pretty sweet concept. look i understand it sounds cheesy/stupid/homoerotic but let me make this clear you dont fuck with arnold, he smart, strong and covered in mud for a better half of this movie, so i dont remeber what my point is, all the characters in this movie are essentially bad ass like the Queen on a chess board, they all have distinct characteristics and different weapons, sounds like a FPS, and lets not forget Jesse ventura is in it. when i watched this as a child, i learned not to play with guns cause if i do aliens will come fight me, so i should only play with toy guns. K also very famous lines from this movie such as “GET TO DA CHOPPA” and “DILLON YOU SON OF A BITCH”

Eraser

I dont think allot of people watched this movie, well John “eraser” Kruger is a us marshall or some shit, and hes protecting this lady, and shes hot (vanessa williams), and some weapons coorperation is trying to kill her and John owns them with there own weapons at the end. these weapons are rail guns, they can see through walls and shit and fuck people up, at the end John wields two of them, duelies Akimbo and kills everyone, happy ending RIGHT. This movie was so great cause at the time a game called Quake came out, it was the first fps mulitplayer game online and since the very begining people began modding games, one mod was called ?____BLANK i forget but anyways they modded the guns from this movie into it and it became great fun dominating other people. my favorite part of this movie is when he fights a croc/aligator.

Terminator 2

umm theres really not much to say about this movie, i think everyone whose watched this must agree, this is a pretty fucking great movie. for those who dont know, john connor leader of resistance against the machines in future, sends back a terminator (reprogrammed robot *sorry excuse me cybernetic organism) back in time to save his skinny ass. robert patrick does a phenomenal job as the T-1000, a emotionless liquid goop killing machine. Probably some of the best action scenes in movie history.

Total Recall

movie about like how arnold is like leader of some resistance on mars with a bunch of memories and shit, read the wiki. This movie is on the list due to arnold face exploding in the first 5 minutes of the film, usually when people make fun of arnold is his natural ARGHHHhhhHhHUGUHHHHHGHHHhh voice, just watch. theres also allot of weird looking human shit in this movie, especially the fat lady suit, at the time some really good special effects.

Commando

Harry Matrix lives peacefully with his daughter in the mountains or some shit, some old enemy kidnaps his daughter, he gets her back really fast. I havent seen this movie until last week, so heres a brief review. For an action film during that time and caliber its good, lots of action, simple strong man who says very cliche one liners, what more can you ask for. As for those good one liners, heres my favorite. “your a funny guy sully…” . Also int he opening scene it looks like arnold gets cummed on cause his daughter smashes icecream in his face

So what have we learned here, arnold likes being called harry in movies, and kindergarten cop should have made the list but i was too lazy. arnold is great.

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